What Does Post-Gay Mean To Me?

Being gay – or certainly growing up gay – can involve trauma for many people.  Trauma for the young gay person.  Trauma for the young gay person’s family and friends who are cowered into a “don’t ask, don’t tell” mentality.  Or worse still “ask but don’t tell”.

Coming out of the closet involves relief, liberation, freedom, new horizons and a whole new positively electrifying outlook on life.

Then, after the clubbing, the parties, the parades, the activism, the therapy re-visiting and re-mapping the past to understand the identity of being who you are in the here and now, comes a new phase: being post-gay.

Being post-gay means being gay without that being a central element in your life.  It means going to any clubs, not just gay clubs.  It means being a writer without only writing about gay topics or characters.  It means being a comedian without telling gay jokes.  It means being a politician without just campaigning on gay issues.  It means travelling to New York City without making a pilgrimage to Stonewall.  It means having a kaleidoscope of close friends, not just close gay friends.

I figure that if Barack Obama can run for the presidency by being post-racial, then I can run my little life by being post-gay.

If being gay is liberating, being post-gay is truly emancipating.  Being post-gay means having progressed into an evolved soul, whereupon in life you can always be yourself, because everyone else is already taken.

Being gay is winning the battle.  Being post-gay is winning the war.  And finally being at peace.

Shaun Miller

Shaun Miller is a sole practice lawyer specialising in film and entertainment law. He is a Life Member of the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby. Pastimes include watching good films and drinking good coffee.